monday music trip oi to the world THE VANDALS

Merry Christmas from 1996! Oi, oi!

back when c.o.d. had a christmas display

Nanonood ako ng news, tulad ng gawi ko bawat gabi, nang may napanood akong maiksing feature tungkol sa C.O.D Christmas display sa Greenhills. Nagpakita ang report ng mga shot ng mga umaandar na manyika, mga automated na train, sumasayaw na ilaw - iba't ibang elemento ng mga moving display.

Nasisip ko lang - tulad yata iyon ng mga pinapalabas sa C.O.D store noon. Kaya ba tinawag na "C.O.D" ang display ay dahil isa itong homage sa dating C.O.D store?

Nalaman ko ngayon lang na ang ibig sabihin pala ng C.O.D ay Christmas on Display, hehe.

Naisip ko rin - never yata akong nakanood ng Christmas show sa C.O.D 'nung bata ako. Although madalas kong nakikita ang mga naka-display na Christmas dolls sa harapan ng C.O.D building kapag dumadaan ang sasakyan namin sa Cubao, parang wala akong maalala na napanood ko ang presentation ng mga gumagalaw na manikin kada 7 ng gabi tuwing Disyembre.

Ang sigurado ko lang na naaalala ko ay ang sinabi ng mga kamag-anak, teacher at mga kaklase ko na nakakatuwa at napakaganda ng mga presentation taon-taon: may mga manyika at manikin na metukuloso ang pagkakayari, gumagalaw sila, sumasayaw at naghahayag ng isang kwentong pang-Pasko. May music at ilaw pa. Ang lahat ay naaliw, bata man o matanda, kaya it's worth the travel and the siksikan.

Simple lang ang trip ng mga tao noon. Sikat na sikat 'yon nung '80s. Medyo yata humina 'nung '90s - pero siguro dahil tumatanda na ako 'nun at wala na akong paki sa mga bagay na parang pambata. Ang tining ko pa nga noon, baduy at laos na ang mga presentation na ganun. Nung 2004, tuluyan na silang nagsara.

Ngayon, alaala na lang talaga ang C.O.D -- at wala pa akong maalala. Hindi ko alam kung bakit nagsara sila. Pero sigurado akong maraming matanda at mga dating-bata nasayangan sa pagsara nila dahil wala na ang mga Christmas show na naging tradisyon na sa Metro Manila. 'Yung mga matatanda at mga dating-bata na nagkaroon ng mga magagandang memory ng Pasko dahil sa sayang dinala ng mga C.O.D. display taon-taon.
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back when cheech and chong had a conversation about santa claus and his old lady

I find it hard to believe that that Santa Claus and His Old Lady was actually released in '71. I first heard it in the mid-'90s, and it sounded quite fresh. It's been a holiday playlist regular of mine, and it still sounds cool. It isn't actually a song but a conversation between a stoned hippie (played by Thomas Chong) and an eager latino (Cheech Marin).




santa claus and his old lady (1971)

CHEECH AND CHONG

CM: (Playing piano) "Ma-ma-ma-ma-cita, donde esta Santa Cleese...the vato wit da bony knees...he comin' down da street wit no choos on his feet...and he's going to..." No, no, that ain't it... "Mamamacita, donde esta Santa Claus...da guy wit da hair on his jaws...he's..." Nah. Hey, man, come over here, man. I need some help, man.

TC: Yeah, man. I can dig that. Like, uh, what are ya doin', man?

CM: Aw, I'm trying to write a song about Santa Claus, man, but it's not comin' out...

TC: About who, man?

CM: About Santa Claus, man. You know, Santa Claus, man?

TC: Oh, yeah, man. I played with those dudes, man.

CM: What?

TC: Yeah, last year at the Fillmore, man. Me and the bass player sat in, man.

CM: Oh, hey, man, you think Santa Claus is a group, huh? No, it's not a group, man.

TC: Wha? They break up, man?

CM: No, man. It's one guy, man. Y'know, he had a..a red suit on, man, with black patent leather choos...you know the guy, man.

TC: Oh, yeah...he's with Motown, ain't he? Yeah, I played with that dude, too, man. He's a good singer, man.

CM: No, no, hold on, man. He's not with Motown, man.

TC: Well, then he's with Buddah, man.

CM: No, aw, man, you don't know who Santa Claus is, man!

TM: Yeah, well, I'm not from here, man. Like, I'm from Pittsburgh, man. I don't know too many local dudes.

CM: Ohhh, I see. Well, hey, man, sit back and relax and I'll tell you da story about Santa Claus, man. Listen...

(background music begins)

Once upon a time, about, hmmm, five years ago, there was this groovy dude and has name was Santa Claus, y'know? And he used to live over in the projects with his old lady and they had a pretty good thing together because his old lady was really fine and she could cook and all that stuff like that, y'know. Like, she made da best brownies in town, man! Oh, I could remember 'em now, man. I could eat one of 'em, man, wow...

TC: Wow, did you know these people, man?

CM: Oh, yeah, man. They used to live next door to me, y'know...until they got kicked out, man.

TC: Wha? They got kicked out of the projects, man?

CM: Yeah, you know what happened, man? They used ta live with all these midgets, y'know, and da midgets used ta make a lotta noise, y'know, like pounding and hammering and pounding all night, man...

TC: Typical freaks, huh?

CM: Oh, yeah, man, they were really freaks, man. As a matter of fact, they all moved up north together, y'know.

TC: Oh, they had to go get their head together, man?

CM: Yeah, get their head together. And they started a commune, y'know. It was called the...uh..."Santa Claus and his Old Lady Commune"; it was a real famous one up there, man. And they used to sit around and groove all the time, y'know.

TC: Oh, yeah?

CM: Yeah, a really good time, man.

TC: That sounds heavy.

CM: Yeah, they eat da brownies, man, and they drink da tea, man...and what they did most of da time, though, was make a lotta goodies, y'know? And they had everything they needed; they only needed to come into town maybe once a year or something like that...

TC: To pick up the welfare check and the food stamps, right.

CM: Yeah... No, no, what they did, man, is that, once a year, when they made all the goodies, y'know, they used ta put 'em in a beeg chopping bag and, then, they used ta take da chopping bag and give 'em to all the boys and girls all da way around da world, man!

TC: Hey, well, that's hip, man. That sounds real nice.

CM: Oh, yeah, they were really nice people, man. And so much class, man...they had so much class, y'know. Like, even take da way they used ta deliver da toys, y'know. It's like, Santa Claus used ta have this really charp chort, man, y'know? It was lowered to da ground, had twice-pipes, candy-apple red and button top. Oooo, clean!

TC: Hey, that sounds like a hip snowmobile, man.

CM: No, no, it wasn't a snowmobile; it was a sled, y'know. One of those big sleds, y'know? And he used ta have it pulled by some reindeers, y'know, like, reindeers?

TC: Some what, man?

CM: Some reindeers, y'know. He used ta hook them onto da sled and then he used ta stand up inside da sled and hold on to da reins and then call out their names, like, "On Donner! On, Blitzen! On Chewy! On Tavo! C'mon, Becto!" And then, the reindeers used ta take off into da sky and fly across da sky, man!

TC: Wow, man! That's far out, man!

CM: Yeah! And then, when they flied across da sky, they used ta come down to places like, oh, Chicago, L.A., Nueva York and Pacoima and all those places, y'know, and then land on top of people's roofs and then 'ol Santa Claus would make himself real small, y'know, like, a real small guy, and he'd come down da chimney and then he would give you all da stuff that he made, man. And...dig this, man...he did it all in one night, man!

TC: Hey, just a minute, man. Now, how'd he do that, man?

CM: Oh, well, man, he took da freeway. How else, man?

TC: No, man. No, man, how'd he do all that other stuff, man? Like, how'd he make himself small, man. And, how'd he, like, how'd he get the reindeer off the ground, man?

CM: Oh, well, man, he had some magic dust, man.

TC: Some magic dust?

CM: Yeah, magic dust, y'know? He used ta give a little bit to da reindeer, a little bit to Santa Claus, a little bit more for Santa Claus, a little bit more...

TC: And this would get the reindeer off, man?

CM: Aw, got 'em off, man? Are you kidding, man? They flew all da way around da world, man!

TC: Hey, that's far out, man! Hey, how come I've never met this dude, man?

CM: Oh, man, he doesn't do that bit anymore, man. It got too dangerous, man.

TC: Yeah, I can dig that, man, 'cause that's a dangerous bit, man!

CM: Yeah, lemme tell ya, it sure was, man. Like just two years ago, man, he got stopped at the border, y'know, and they took him into another room and took off his clothes, man, and searched him and searched his bag of goodies, man...and then, when he was leaving, man, he was flying through the air and somebody took a chot at his reindeer, y'know.

TC: Aw, that's a drag, man.

CM: Yeah, it really was, man. And then, man, he went down South, man, and they tried to cut off his hair and his beard, man. And all the time, he was getting stopped and pulled over and asked for his ID, man....just everywhere he went, he ran into too much recession, man.

TC: No, man, you mean he ran into too much repression, man.

CM: Aw, "repression"..."recession"...man, it's all da same thing, man.

TC: Yeah, man. But, it's a drag, man, 'cause we could sure use a dude like that right now.

CM: Oh, he still comes around, man.

TC: Oh, yeah?

CM: Yeah, but he comes in disguises now...

TC: Aw, he went "underground".

CM: Yeah, "underground", man.

TC: I can dig it.

CM: Yeah. But you ought to see his disguise, man; nobody would ever know it was him, man.

TC: Oh, yeah?

CM: Yeah. He's got a job in front of da department store, ringing this bell and playing this tambourine next to this black pot, y'know?

TC: Aw, I seen the dude, man!

CM: Yeah! You know who I'm talking about, man!

TC: Yeah, man! I played with that cat last year, man!

CM: Wha?

TC: Yeah, we played in front of a store, man! We made a lot of bread, man!

CM: Aw, hey, wait a minute, man! Santa Claus is not a musician, man!

TC: I'm hip, man! That cat didn't know any tunes, man!

CM: Oh, hey, wait a minute, man...no, he's not hip to that at all, man.

TC: No, I played with this dude, man.

CM: Are you sure, man?

TC: Positive!

back when there were those december amusement fairs

Like those magical lands at the top of Enid Blyton's Magic Faraway Tree that visit for a time and then disappear, these wonderlands of sorts came by for a few weeks every holiday season: Payanig sa Pasig, Big Bang sa Alabang. Even Star City used to be just a Christmastime fair then. I used to go go together with my friends or cousins, thinking it was such a big thing to be allowed to stay until after midnight. Since the weather got chilly as soon as the ber months rolled in (and I mean really cool by Manila standards, the whole day, not just nippy in the mornings and evenings), our parents would tell us to bring jackets for practicality, and we brought them for pormality. It gave us a chance to show off our cardigans - the looser, the slouchier, the better. We would crumple the sleeves upward to expose our forearms or tie them around our waists- that's how jackets were worn back then.

Those fairs were utter amusement for a child - rides, games, lights, food, shops, fireworks, the occasional celebrity sightings, those geeky production number featuring people in silly tinfoil-laced costumes. Parents who tagged along to babysit from a distance amused themselves with the tiangge while we kiddies hopped from ride to ride.

My favorite rides were the roller coaster and the octopus. In those days, we haven't yet heard of rides conking out mid-transit, or kids losing their limbs or dying from faulty machinery. Lawsuits against carnival operators were unheard of.

I also liked checking out whatever horror train or horror house there was. That was probably one of the first things I'd ask to go to because I liked how the UV lights made white things glow.

The non-ride feature I enjoyed the most has got to be the giant maze - it was absolutely safe, risk-free, mentally challenging and physically fun, especially if we raced with each other. Plus points for getting to punch the guy in the ape costume.

The giant slide was the main attraction of Big Bang, which I think was imitated by the others. It remained popular in spite of the high ticket price and the rumors going around that some kid's neck snapped on descent. I tried it out a few times and would have gone a few more if it wasn't so pricey.

During the down-time, we'd stroll around the shops and see if there were any interesting trinkets worth buying - glow-in-the-dark shoelaces, plastic digital watches, those cylindrical glass pendants with tiny plastic flowers and colored water in them, those heart-shaped balloons with teddy bears inside. When we got hungry, we'd stop by a Burger Machine. I personally preferred Smokey's because it had those wrap-around dogs.

At the end of the night, we'd have a hard time locating the car that we came in because it'd be covered with dust - well, that's what you got when the parking space happened to be an unpaved lot with several hundred cars that went to and fro. We'd noisily chatter about how this guy fell on his butt as the giant ape chased him, how mirrors must have been used for that shifting ghost effect in the horror house, how surprised we were that Richard Gomez and Joey Marquez were so tall pala, how cute that stranger at the ticket line was.

The lot where Payanig used to be held every year is now an MC Home Depot. Where Big Bang used to visit now stands the elaborate Town Center complex. Star City has become a year-round feature of Pasay City and has since faced lawsuit after lawsuit for from disgruntled customers for faulty machinery, including one that allegedly resulted in the death of a child.

I didn't even notice when these December amusement fairs stopped coming by, and I didn't even notice what we did in place of going to those places during the holidays. I didn't even notice that ATC was in the Big Bang lot (until someone pointed it out to me just recently). It must have been the time when Enchanted Kingdom opened in Sta. Rosa and distracted the amusement-fair patrons. Ah, well.